Support Groups

“Kay’s way” Grief and loss

About Grief and Loss

All of us like to be in control of our lives and that’s one of the reasons why loss is hard on us – for it means death (either literally or symbolically) and we feel, and usually are, totally out of control of the situation.

Some situations we cannot stop. Physical death, terminal and debilitating illnesses do not change, nor does the pain that accompanies them. We have no choice in that we will have pain when we experience a loss, but we do have a choice as to how we will experience painful losses.

Choice one:
A living death will result when we refuse to go on with the business of living today and the tomorrow’s before us.

Choice Two:
We can make a decision to grow through our grief and gain a new understanding and perspective for the rest of our lives.

  • We do not have a choice regarding grief, we will grieve.
  • We do have a choice about the “how” of our grief
  • We can choose to grieve openly and honestly or
  • We can suppress it and carry it throughout our lifetime.

Our hope is that working through the material contained in our grief and loss support group will enable you to work through your grief rather than endure the process. Sorrow when shared, tends to be more manageable. Here you will find others who understand and are willing to share some of your burden with you.

divorce care

Most people will tell you that separation and divorce are the most painful and stressful experiences they’ve ever faced. It’s a confusing time when you feel isolated and have lots of questions about issues you’ve never faced before. DivorceCare groups meet weekly to help you face these challenges and move toward rebuilding your life.

What to Expect?

Most people quickly feel comfortable and accepted in their DivorceCare group.

They discover that there are others who have the same kind of feelings they do—and who understand the hurt and pain they are going through. Here is an overview of the DivorceCare experience:

You’ll probably feel a little nervous about going to DivorceCare the first time.

Those feelings go away quickly for most people, usually during the first session they attend. DivorceCare is a warm, caring environment designed to help you.

You’ll discover there are people who understand your hurts, emotions and painful experiences!
In divorce, it’s common to feel isolated. In DivorceCare, you’ll find that you are not alone, that there are others who understand what you are going through.
You’ll learn helpful, practical information that will help you recover from your separation or divorce.
The DivorceCare DVD videos feature top experts on divorce and recovery subjects and case studies of people just like you, who have been through the divorce experience.
You’ll have the chance to talk about your experiences.
It can be very healing to tell others what you are going through. The support group sessions include a time to talk about what you’ve seen on the DivorceCare videos and what is going on in your life. And while you have the opportunity to tell your story, there’s never pressure for you to do so if you don’t feel like it.
You’ll become part of a “family.”
DivorceCare group members often tell us that they feel like their group has become a family, that they made new friends and are around people they can relate to. DivorceCare is designed to be a safe environment, and dating relationships between group participants are not encouraged (to allow you time to focus on your personal healing).
Your children will have the opportunity to heal.
We also sponsor DivorceCare for Kids (DC4K) groups. DC4K is a fun environment for kids to learn how to work through the hurt of divorce. The DC4K program features videos, music, games, crafts and activities for children ages 5–12.
You’ll discover hope for the future.
While things may look bleak now, you’ll learn ways to restore your hope and rebuild your life. Many DivorceCare alumni tell us that the program helped them move from adversity to becoming a better person.

Seminar Topics

Your DivorceCare experience begins each week as your group watches a video seminar on DVD. The DivorceCare videos cover topics essential to your recovery from the hurt of separation or divorce. The videos are produced in a compelling television magazine format and feature on-location video and real-life stories of people who have experienced divorce. Here is a list of the weekly topics:

1. What’s Happening to Me?
This introductory seminar helps answer the question, “Why do I feel the way I do?” You’ll come out of this session with an overview of the DivorceCare program and an appreciation for the benefits of a support group environment.
2. The Road to Healing/Finding Help
This video segment helps you begin to identify the many losses that occurred as the result of your divorce. It also introduces strategies you can use to begin the process of healing from your separation or divorce.
3. Facing My Anger
This video seminar deals with the subject of anger, a nearly universal response to the pain and stress of divorce. You’ll gain constructive suggestions for dealing with your anger and learn methods for responding to the anger coming from your ex-spouse.
4. Facing My Depression
Depression can be a paralyzing emotion as you go through divorce. Even so, it can also be a “healing emotion,” and this video seminar explores constructive responses you can employ to deal with depression.
5. Facing My Loneliness
After divorce, many people respond to their loneliness in ways that will cause them even deeper pain. This segment explores healthy ways to overcome the loneliness that will inevitably arise during your separation or divorce.
6. What Does the Owner’s Manual Say?
This video seminar explores real-world answers from the Bible on issues related to separation, divorce and remarriage, presented in an easily understandable format.
7. New Relationships
The loneliness that comes with divorce will put you at risk when making decisions about new relationships. This session helps you determine whether you are ready for a new relationship and how to get it off on the right foot if you are.
8. Financial Survival
Most people are stretched financially during divorce. This video segment offers you practical help on how to survive and ways to deal with the many money issues that you’ll face during and after divorce.
9. KidCare
This video seminar helps you understand the effects of divorce on your children and offers practical suggestions for being an effective single parent. You’ll also learn how your children are processing the divorce and how you can help in their healing.
10. Single Sexuality
How do you deal with your sexuality after divorce? This important session will help you understand sexuality from God’s perspective and see that it is possible to be single again and satisfied.
11. Forgiveness
The hurt that comes with divorce is a barrier that prevents many people from forgiving their former spouse. This seminar shows you why forgiveness is important and how you can begin the process of forgiving.
12. Reconciliation
Reconciliation is one of the most misunderstood aspects of the divorce healing process. You’ll learn that reconciliation can happen even if your marriage is not restored and why it’s important to pursue reconciliation.
13. Moving On, Growing Closer to God
How can God produce something good out of something as bad as divorce? This segment will show you how to grow closer to God as you go through your divorce experience.

divorce care for kids

Are your children angry, hurt, and confused about your separation or divorce? A DivorceCare for Kids (DC4K) group is a safe, fun place where your children can learn skills that will help them heal. DC4K groups blend, games, music, stories, videos and discussion to help kids process the divorce and move forward. Groups meet weekly and are designed for children ages 5-12.

What is DC4K?
DC4K provides your children with a safe and neutral place to gain an age-appropriate understanding of separation and divorce. They will learn how to process and share their feelings.

For 13 weeks your children become involved in a fun, caring group that meets near you. The weekly session topics help your children learn that God’s love strengthens them and helps them turn their sadness to hope and their anger to joy.

Each session is filled with motivating and exciting activities. Games, crafts, role playing, discussion times, journaling, and activity books help your children process the divorce and move forward in their lives. The music, snacks, read-aloud stories, exercises, and Bible verses teach your children to relax and rest secure in God’s love. The Kids Like Me and Stories from the Bible video dramas present stories of children just like your children, who are experiencing divorce-related problems and have found help and encouragement.

DC4K is designed for kids 5–12 years of age.

Children look forward to each time their “DC4K family” gets together. Start your children on the road to healing today and connect them with their very own DC4K family!

Who are the DC4K leaders?

The leadership team for DivorceCare for Kids consists of people who share a genuine concern about the way divorce is affecting your children now and in the future. The DC4K team encourages children, builds relationships, and presents skills to maneuver through the rough places of divorce, while pointing students to Jesus as their healer.

DC4K leaders have an excitement for the DC4K program and have participated in leadership training.

“I have a deep understanding of what these kids are experiencing because I still remember the hurt I felt as a child when my parents divorced … now I can help these kids.”

— DC4K leader, NC

What your child will experience

DC4K is a special group that provides a safe and caring place for your children to engage in fun-filled activities while learning about the divorce and the many changes they are encountering in their lives. All of the activities fit into a two-hour weekly format. Each group meets for 13 consecutive weeks.

From participating in group activities and games to eating and laughing together, children have fun at DC4K.

Viewing
Viewing the specially written Kids Like Me video helps children learn how to deal with daily dilemmas children of divorce face. In the Stories from the Bible video the children learn about people in the Bible who experienced some of the same difficulties they are experiencing.

Expressing
Expressing themselves through arts and crafts projects centered on the weekly topic provides entertainment while helping your children process the divorce. Interesting projects include bubble printing, homemade Etch A Sketch®, illusion-noculars, thumbprint art, forgiveness cards, drawing, painting, creating, and much more.

Listening
Listening to a read aloud storybook connects your children with real-life situations involving other children in divorce. These stories offer practical suggestions for dealing with the many struggles each child faces. The stories also serve as a springboard for heartfelt discussions with you, their DC4K leaders, and other people in their lives.

Playing games
Playing games helps children understand changes divorce brings, promotes teamwork, helps them deepen their trust bonds, and encourages them to lean on each other and to minister to one another with the love of God.

Connecting
Connecting with caring leaders and interacting with other children in small group discussions, devotions, and demonstrations helps your children better understand their individual situations.

Reading
Children will hear relevant and age-appropriate Bible passages. These verses will guide them how to respond in difficult circumstances and assure them of God’s love for them.

Eating
Eating together and being introduced to comfort foods, stress-reducing foods, and foods that help children focus helps provide your children with a feeling of connectedness in a stress-free atmosphere.

Laughing
Laughing and having fun with other children gives every child an opportunity to make and enjoy newfound friends at DC4K.

Journaling
Journaling and drawing pictures in their DC4K Activity Book helps your kids sort through their feelings.

Singing
Singing and listening to cheerful music, written to bring comfort, helps soothe hurt feelings.

Stretching
Stretching, breathing, and physical exercise help reduce stress levels.

Seminar Topics

Children come to DC4K excited to connect with their newfound friends. Each session is filled with engaging activities that center around a weekly theme. These topics correlate with those discussed in the adult DivorceCare sessions. When you and your children are learning about similar topics each week, you create many opportunities to bond and enrich your family.

1. What’s Happening to My Family?
During this session your children will find comfort and relief from the anxiety of what is happening in their lives. They will learn what to expect each week in DC4K.
2. God Loves Children in All Kinds of Families
This session assists your children in realizing that everyone’s family situation is different. It also encourages your children to help you develop a healthy single-parent home.
3. Facing My Anger
This unit helps your children recognize angry feelings and how to deal with these feelings in a healthy and acceptable way. They will learn it’s okay to be mad but not to hurt others when they are angry.
4. Journey from Anger to Sadness
This session’s goal is to acquaint your children with the sadness phase of grief in the divorce process. It helps them learn how to process this in an emotionally healthy manner.
5. I Am Not Alone
Your children will realize they are not alone and there are people, including a heavenly Father, who care about them and love them. They will understand that it is okay to ask for help.
6. God’s Plan for Me
This session gives your children hope and comfort in knowing God always loves them and will meet all of their needs. Your children will realize they have choices to make, and they’ll learn how their choices affect others.
7. Developing New Relationships
This week’s theme helps your children realize their relationships with Mom and Dad and others are different since the divorce. Your children will learn how to develop new relationships. They will realize it’s okay to be loyal to each parent without feeling guilty.
8. Developing Money Smarts
Helping your children understand various aspects of budgeting and spending will help them understand budgeting issues in your family. This unit includes ideas about earning and spending money wisely.
9. It’s Not My Fault
This session communicates to your children that divorce is an adult problem between two parents. Your children will learn the divorce is not their fault.
10. Telling My Parents How I Feel
This session helps your children learn how to talk to you and their other parent about how they feel about different situations in an honest, yet respectful manner.
11. Forgiveness
The goal is to help your children understand what forgiveness is and how to forgive others. This session exposes your children to the concept of taking responsibility for their own actions and attitudes.
12. Loving My Parents
This session is designed to educate your children that their parents still love them and to help each child express love to both parents.
13. Moving On: Growing UP and Closer to God
This session assists your children in realizing life goes on after divorce and they can have healthy and happy futures. It helps the children understand they are individuals with their own talents, hobbies, and interests.